Saturday 28 March 2009

Guilty!

Blame feminism because sloppy and lazy columnists have found it's a facile way to make a buck while sitting in their pajamas at home, scratching their balls and pecking out words on a laptop while watching porn on cable TV.

... in the M. T. case, Ms. Timson blames the girl's actions on "a very retro scenario," an "ages-old pre-feminist scenario" in which girls believe they have no power on their own. So they convince themselves that they must attract a man and keep him at all costs, even murder. Pardon me? Girls have turned to murder because they have no power? The truth is, they have turned to murder and "obsessive irrational hatred of one girl toward another, depict[ing] an emotional landscape devoid of respect, conscience or heart," because they have too much power. I don't mean too much power relative to boys -- with whom they are now equals in every real sense -- but rather relative to teens of past generations.

It is just possible that all of this is the logical end product of feminism, instead of, as Ms. Timson postulates, the harbinger of some return to a regressive age.

"The logical end product of feminism" .... shriEEEkkk!!!! Why not blame feminism for the following, then?

NEWS ITEM: Investigators confirmed Thursday that two small bolts in the main gearbox of a helicopter that crashed off Newfoundland two weeks ago broke in flight sometime before the aircraft slammed into the ocean, killing 17 of 18 people on board. Blame feminism for forcing women to seek employment in non-traditional jobs; that crash was the logical end product of men threatened or distracted by their female colleagues.

NEWS ITEM: The RCMP says it has busted a marijuana grow operation at a home in western Quebec that doubled as a daycare centre. ... spokeswoman Caroline Poulin says a couple in their 50s have been arrested in Gatineau and will appear in court at a later date. Blame feminism for the increased use and popularity of daycares; their exploitation as fronts for home grow-ops is the logical end product.

NEWS ITEM: The bonuses paid to some executives at American International Group have become a symbol of Wall Street greed in the last two weeks. Citizens and legislators alike were infuriated to learn the insurance giant, which received a federal bailout of more than US$180 billion, paid out $165 million in bonuses to some of the employees who almost ran the company into the ground. Blame feminism for the practice of giving generous bonuses to executive-level employees; they're the logical end product of judges awarding their first wives more of their assets when their husbands divorce them.

NEWS ITEM: Police have apologised to a widow for giving her the rope her husband had used to kill himself. Mr Gilmore's possessions were returned to his wife, who lives in Amersham, Buckinghamshire, because she was his next of kin. Police had given Ms Gerelli three bags containing her husband's laptop, wallet and briefcase, but when she looked in the bags she noticed the rope. Blame feminism for forcing those officers to apologize when it's obvious that male suicide is the logical end product when women are no longer feminine enough to please their men.

a creative revolution and April Reign blogged brilliantly about that odious NP column.

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